Missunderstanding...


On my reunion night, I was so nervous.. I had so many things in my mind... And when it was about noon, I was more nervous than I thought...Okay... This is it!!  Tonight the show is on... I have to look great and show the viewer my all time best performance... Do I look good in these outfit?? Does my hair shine enough?? Which earrings should I wear?? Should I put a lot more make up?? Or is it just a simply innocent girl this year?? Hmmm... Which lipstick should I put on?? That look sexy on me and show off my passionate lips more..hahaha.. just thinking all of it, makes me want to puke, is this me???..  And now I have to gather my self confidence and go to the gathering with full of pride and smile... ^_*

Tonight I would meet my old friends again after these years... Everybody would be there..  10 Minutes before the time I was already waiting in front of the restaurant.. We should meet here, right?? I hope, I'm not wrong.. I am usually really clumsy about engagement, most of times I come late... Some of my friends can not rely on me anymore with time and dates... hahaha... Really..Me!! don't laugh about it, that is so stupid of me!!  I must change that bad attitude of mine!! Look again the message that they sent.. okay, I'm quite sharp tonight, great timing, great outfit, and I think I'm quite great looking tonight... I hope, everything is going well tonight...

Ohh.. Ohh.. Here they come... Some of my best friends were heading my way from the left side of the road, and the guys were coming from the parking lot, some of them were even coming together on the same car.. Wow.. that's new.. Since when were they that close?? Now.. now.. Even my ex boyfriend was there and he still looked the same.. Mannn.. shouldn't he look older now!! even with that same old style, jeans, shirt and tight sweater, that showed off his long legs, his not too thin no to thick bones and almost all of his muscles... No..no.. right now isn't the right time for that.. I have to pull my self together and greet them with my great killing smile...

 My greeting was the usual boring one, nothing special, "Heyy.. How are you guys doing?? Long time no see... Miss you all... bla bla bla". Inside the restaurant we already reserved a long table for that night, were directly going to the table and each of us picked the best sit they could get... That night my first male best friend was also coming.. At the front door, He greeted me so warmly, like he missed me so much, and unexpectedly hugged me after the greeting... He is quite short for a man size even for a girl... Well, I am not trying to offend him ;>.. And he talks a lot, is kinda like a girl often... He likes to talk at the phone a lot, sometimes even crying, and this side of him is really very annoying.. Well he still likes to call me and does those things even now sometimes... That's why often I take him like a girl.. When we were going to find our sit, there was like kind of connection between us, we look at each other, like we're going to share a lot of stories that night, so I grabbed his hand and took him to sit right next to me right a way... Then we're smiling at each other, greet each other again, it was really like girl friends that seeing each other again..

Just after I felt comfortable sitting and looked at the Menu, I kinda looked around, who sat next to whom..and then... Oh my god... I hope I'm not seeing what I'm seeing right now... My ex is coming toward us, and I was so hoping that he was not going to do what I was thinking !!! Andd... BAMM... He really did it, he took the sit direct across my sit, showed off his gentle face to me with his sly kinda cute laughing and looked me direct in the eye with his deep brown eyes... that was used to make my heart a mess... I really didn't  want that to happen... I wanted to avoid anything that had to do with him that night!! I've even planned not to exchange a single word with him..

Back then our love story was not ended that peacefully, or if I can say, I didn't even met him when I ended it, so it was kinda not really quite satisfied ending... It was all began with a friend of mine told me, that she saw him going out holding hands with other girl and after she told me the details about the girl, I realized, it was just not any other girl, it was his ex girlfriend, that he told me it was over between them and he couldn't stand her anymore because she was too noisy and bla bla bla... Then after collecting evidence and investigating his strange attitude, I was pretty sure that he was cheating on me. But the problem was, every time I met him, I just couldn't ask him the question.. Even our dates flew just perfectly, all of it because of his straight looking pair of eyes that made me just couldn't think right.. And the sweet rumours just kept coming to me and that really pissed me off, made me mad of my self... At the end I ran to an end conclusion that I let him off through email without telling him the reason, cause I was full of anger and I just wanted to see what kind of reaction could come up from that cold temperament of his.. And my prediction was fully right, he accepted our breaking up just like that, without any complain and answered my mail so lightly that he respected my decision... WHATTT kind of crap was that!! That must be cause he had already somebody else at that time, so he had nothing to lose... Way different than my circumstances that was falling deep to the ground, crying for days and filling my heart with that great hate for him.. After that mail, I moved out from my apartment and I didn't hang out with his friend so oft so we didn't meet each other often anymore.. But not a while ago, couple of my friends said that he was actually not over me yet and they discoverd it was just one of his bad character, which is, can not fight against women's will and doesn't have the fighting spirit.. They even said to me, he is maybe a player but he indeed loved me at that time, and maybe still love me??? And perhaps would made a move on me on our reunion night!! And this was the one that I was trying to avoid, I really hoped actually, that he might not come, but fate just couldn't agree with me... I really think that I am already over him and I don't need to fall to a player anymore.. that would just cost me a broken heart.. am I right??

The way he was taking his sit directly in front of me,  moving the chair to the back, but his face was still not moving with his eyes looking at me deeply full intense.. I was trying so hard not to look at those eyes, but I just couldn't resist my self, and just did the exact thing that he did... After sitting comfortably, he was smiling peacefully, maybe so pleased of himself, like the feeling his first strategy went succeed.. After seeing that smile, suddenly I was realized that I was tricked, and immediately moved my face to the other way, which is where shorty was seated... I just thought to my self...Easy... easy...just look at the other way.. Oww right, I could pay all of my attention tonight at shorty, it would be nothing dangerous...

Shorty was quite energetic that night, talked a lot just like in the past.. And as aspected, most of the conversation was about him... About his work at that time as a bartender, his great experiences working in Bali, that he was oft picking up by the tourists because of his cuteness... WOoooHOOooo...Okay, I have to stop this, have to take the line to the other way, otherwise it would be sooo boring.. First... Jokes...Tell about jokes.. Yeepeee... It worked... everybody's laughing and somebody answered my joke to another... we're laughing even more... another person told about our cute old stories... and we're end up hugging eachother.. the situation went really well..

I felt really good that night... we talked almost about anything, it's like we were more open than in the past.. Everybody could see it we were all grown up and became finally adults... I could really sense the air of friendship that night, even the food tasted delicious... When we ate, I try so hard to look only at my plate, and only talked to shorty.. And my plan went also smoothly... Nothing was going on from the person in front of me... When we were about to move our section to hard-drink-stuffs, a friend who sat at the other side, took my ex to their side... And yet he couldn't reject him and followed him to the other side... I was quite relief, but yet shorty kept going with his stories.. Thank goodness a friend was approaching us and took my ex's sit... And couple of friend were coming also.. And we were even playing games, that made that night not that terrible...
Shorty had really a lot stories... He was really extremely open, I wondered, why?? did he really miss me?? did he have no one right now, that he could tell all of his secrets?? He even bought us all one round of drink.. Hmmm.. I didn't really mind though, as long I could stay away from that pair deep dark brown eyes... And it seemed he didn't make his moves after that...thank Goodness...

Then the time was up, time to go home and kept this sweet memory inside our heart.... I really had a blast that night, and thanked God I came tonight and that I made a good decision to come... But wait, hold... hold... suddenly...Hey shorty, what are you doing all of a sudden, taking my hands?? Take off... Take off of my hand please!! While I was about to stand and moved out off my sit, he took my hands quickly and we were half running toward the exit.. then just in a second we were outside, only the two of us...it was quite dark there.. the situation was really awkward!! we're just standing there face to face, no one had the courage to begin a conversation, and he's showing me his earnest face... I was quite shocked and just didn't know what to do...And in my mind just...Oww Oww, I hope, it's not going to be more weird than it is... And pleasseee don't say those cheezy words that I can't really imagine coming out from his mouth!!

 My everlasting nightmare was starting when he said, "I know we've known each other for quite long now... And I know you are a really pretty girl, and I really like you, you are always cheerful and very nice to me.. I just realize it now, that you maybe have that kinda feeling for me.. I really appreciate your feelings for me...But, you see the thing is, I'd love us to be together but our circumstances are just not coming along... You know, I've just got a job opportunity in another city and I'd be moving out this weekend... That's why I am really sorry, I have to decline your request if you are about to ask me right now..." What all I have in my mind was only..."WHHUUUAATTT are you talking about??"

Okay... first calm down..calm... What should I do about this?? How should I answer this kind of "conclusion" or is it a "statement"?? After trying to control myself or rather not trying to laugh, I answered him not so politely like I use to be.. I was maybe a little bit harsh and also half yelling to him when I said, "Excuse me?? I'm sorry, I think you've got me wrong tonight.. I didn't intend to ask you to be my boyfriend and of course I didn't have a single thought in my mind to make a move on you, I am really sorry when you've got the wrong tought of me tonight. I just want us to be friends like we use to be!!". He looked at me like he couldn't believe what I just said, he answered me straight away, "No way, you obviously made moves on me!! and... and..". After I heard that, I just felt, that was nothing worth if I continue argued about that simple little thing with him, he wouldn't give up, I'm sure about this.. Then I just walked away from him back in to the restaurant and I also said to him, "Well I'm sorry if you don't believe me"... When we were inside again, I' couldn't just not read his expression.. it was like there was an anger inside his mind or maybe confuse?? Well, I just didn't give a care anymore, and thought that the talking or you can say "misunderstanding" was done... And then he didn't say goodbye to me, maybe it would be a little bit awkward, when we said something to each other again that night...

After I was inside and saying goodbye to the rest of them, my ex came approaching me again, and said, "Ooohhh.. I see, now you are with him... I watched you the whole time tonight and how he took you outside back then... Well, there is nothing more to say or I could do anymore...I wish you the best luck, goodbye, and hope we can see each other again sometimes".. After hearing that statement from him, I just couldn't say any word more and just stand there with my mouth half open... I didn't know what to say, maybe I should thank shorty that my ex has got shortys action all wrong, and he didn't have the intend to stalk me or ask for my new number anymore... hahahahaha...

But after that night, shorty has never called me anymore.. maybe that was anger inside his mind at that time... or maybe I was just a little bit too rough on him... Am I right now more cruel than I used to be?? Or maybe a lot more direct?? Well this situation gives me advantage also, living calm days without his calls...cause sometimes I felt a little bit exhausted when he calls... Right now I take my time off first, then in couple of weeks, when his emotion is already going down, I call him and say I'm sorry.. That would be a great plan.. I believe it is.. hahahaha...

 

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May 2012
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